spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
pop tarts are not kleenex
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
