Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
