ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
