You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
