so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
this just has baby written all over it
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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