yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
