boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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