I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
