As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
