she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
