fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
