i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
love makes seman taste better
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
