he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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