you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Enjoy the penises
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
