i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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