I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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