My room smells like vodka and shame
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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