Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
