Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
