no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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