Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
