So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
