I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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