Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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