so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
