I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
