Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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