The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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