Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
