Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
