Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
