Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
