i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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