My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
