we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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