If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
