Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
