honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
