Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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