Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
