im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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