Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
