Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
