the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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