Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Blood and glitter go together right?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
