It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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