Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
