The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
