don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
