How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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