did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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