Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
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