I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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