I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
