You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize