So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
