He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
