But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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