so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
