You just made me feel so damn special
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
