I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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