Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
