So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
