Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
