What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
