i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
