How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
