Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Enjoy the penises
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize