Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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