Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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