So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
