You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
