I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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