Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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